This is by far my favorite commercial of all time. Made me cry. Pay it forward.
This is by far my favorite commercial of all time. Made me cry. Pay it forward.
HOW TO QUIT NEGATIVE SELF-TALK AND GET HAPPY
“Negative self talk! Why have we all fallen victim to this nasty state of bringing ourselves down? Let’s get one thing clear, self-talk isn’t just mindless chatter spiraling around in your head. It has a way of creating its own reality. Telling yourself you can’t do something can make that come true. Tell yourself you’ll never lose weight and it can be like eating a box of doughnuts. Tell yourself it’s too hard to find a new career and you will be likely to continue the cycle of disliking your old job and stay within that exact rut.
“Self-talk dictates how you relate to yourself and how you show up for other people. Let’s say you think you have nothing interesting to say. If you keep telling yourself that, other people are going to see you that way too.” – Franco Beneduce
People who think negatively tend to be less outgoing and have weaker social networks than positive thinkers. Multiple studies link positive emotions with more satisfying relationships, more romance and even lower rates of divorce and separation.
The more you focus on negative events or shortcomings, the harder it is to put them behind you. In a survey of 231 college students, those with a positive outlook in life were more likely to look back on negative events and report how much better things are for them now. There are lessons in every challenge and an opportunity for growth. Acknowledge a bad day as just that, a bad day, don’t allow a certain event, conversation or let down determine your happiness.
If negative self-talk came with an off switch, you could just flip it off and be done with it. But it doesn’t. It takes a plan and some work to tone it down. Learning to dispute negative thoughts might take time and practice, but it is worth every effort. Once you start looking at it you’ll probably be surprised by how much of your thinking is inaccurate, exaggerated, or focused solely on the negatives of the situation. Here are a few ways to work through it.
Over-thinking involves focusing on a train of thought that goes around and around. You can stop that train of thought by focusing on something else, ANYTHING ELSE! Read a book, breathe, get outside for 5 minutes, rest, make lunch, whatever it takes to break that thought pattern. We can stay in the victim state forever if we don’t choose to break free of the patterns.
You might ask yourself, “Is that really true? Is there another way to look at this situation? Is thinking this way helping me to feel good or to achieve my goals?” You may also look for some benefits. If you missed that job promotion, are there any lessons for the future you can take from the situation? Or could another opportunity come out of it? Was that really right for you, for your path?
Use your feelings as your cue to reflect on your thinking. Whenever you find yourself feeling depressed, angry, anxious or upset, use this as your signal to stop and become aware of your thoughts. I say this all of the time, your body knows exactly what you need, LISTEN TO IT!
Why are you negatively talking down to yourself? BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE BETTER! So why are we focusing on what is wrong, bad, not exactly where we want it to be and creating more of just that? Up until now you may have been unaware of your thoughts manifesting your reality, but you have the tools to build a healthier thought pattern now. Focus on what is going well in your life, I can promise you there are some! Dwelling on the past, what has gone wrong and what isn’t going right for you will only manifest more of those patterns for you. It’s a hard concept for some to accept that we are our own creators but until we believe that, we are continuing the cycle of giving away our own power.
Recognizing that your current way of thinking might be self-defeating can sometimes motivate you to look at things from a different perspective. You can conquer your negative self-talk today by challenging yourself with the questions above every time you catch yourself thinking something negative to yourself. When you find the source of why you do it, you can kick it for good.”
I know how annoying these can be to everyone but I was challenged by my brother-in-law to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. I donated to ALS and National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). I nominated some of my favorite people. This was a fun thing to do and made me smile in the process. I decided to post my video. Don’t mind my mothers giggle. haha
I’ve heard of the 100 Happy Days Challenge, but today I decided to look into it. I think it’s a cute idea!
“Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other.”
“You know those moments where someone perfectly puts words to something you’ve been feeling but haven’t named?
That moment happened for me when I was sitting in the conference room at Invisible Children three years ago and a guest speaker was talking about insecurity. It wasn’t even his main point, but I will never forget when he off-handedly said, “You can’t invest in others if you don’t invest in yourself.”
It struck me. It felt as if he had just given me permission to embrace something that I had felt stirring within me. At that point, I had been working for the organization for 5 years, and I was exhausted. I loved my job and the organization, believed in the mission, and was surrounded by the most incredible community, but I was worn down. I couldn’t understand why I felt continually tired and overwhelmed when I knew I was doing the job I was supposed to be doing.
And here’s what it came down to: I was putting myself last. The tendency in the nonprofit world is to always put the cause above ourselves. It’s easy to forget to prioritize self-care when you are doing something you feel is more important. I had been working crazy hours and pouring most of my energy into my job, and I was doing it without putting much thought into what was fueling me.
I know this is not just true in the nonprofit world. My friends that are new parents struggle to find any time for themselves when their kids demand all their attention, and students are taught to achieve in order to get into college or to land a good job, often forgetting to take care of themselves. Somehow, as a culture, we’ve come to view rest as weakness and self-care as selfish and unnecessary.
None of that is wrong. Working for a cause, working hard in school, and being there for your child are all wonderful things. But I believe it is time for a shift in our mentality. When we take time for ourselves, when we prioritize balance, and when we cultivate other interests, we are better for it.
Studies show that we are 20 percent more productive when we work from a happy state of mind, as opposed to a negative, stressed, or even neutral state. When we are energized, we are equipped to tackle the game-changing tasks instead of just checking our inbox. We’re better prepared to solve problems, to overcome obstacles, to make the hard decisions, and to innovate.
Every now and then, let’s trade practicality for play and work for balance. Think of it as preparation for the next season in life where your life or your family or your job demands a lot from you. You need to be your best in those times. You need to show up. So, for now, let’s free ourselves of the guilt of having to always be busy because busyness just masquerades as productivity.
It doesn’t need to be overwhelming. Here’s where you can start:
1. Go back to the basics. Feed your mind and body with nutritious food. Stay hydrated and get enough sleep. Get outside for a few minutes if you’re stuck in an office all day. Be active, even if that just means choosing the stairs over the elevator.
2. Incorporate a daily ritual. We all can find an extra 15 minutes a day to invest into ourselves, whether that means waking up a little earlier, cutting out some wasted time at work, or getting off Instagram for a little bit. Begin or end your day with something that energizes you – maybe it’s journaling, taking a brisk walk, reading poetry, practicing yoga, or just making coffee and letting your mind be still.
3. Find time to cultivate larger interests outside of work. If you don’t know where to start, go back to what you loved when you were young. If you were a bookworm like me, join a book club. If you miss sports, join a kickball league. These activities remind us who we are.
4. Learn how to say no. This was the hardest thing for me, as a recovering people pleaser living with FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). I challenge you to think of your time to recharge as sacred. Put it on your calendar if you need to, and don’t allow it to get pushed to the bottom of your priority list.
Repeat after me: I will be a better [student / friend / leader / spouse / professional / parent] if I take care of myself.
Great. Now go be amazing.”
To Write Love On Her Arms
A friend of mine recently challenged me to make a list of 100 things that make me happy. I thought this could be a fun exercise to cultivate a sense of joy and thankfulness. This list tells a lot about who I am and what I value. I challenge you to make a list of your own. Include anything that makes you laugh, love and reminisce – and always remember how much there is to be thankful for!
My 100 loves list:
1) My kids
2) My Family
3) My Friends
4) Craft Beer
6) Outdoor Activities
7) Reading a good book
8) Baseball (Go SF Giants!)
9) A deep conversation with a close friend
11) Friends TV Show
12) The unconditional love of my family
13) Bon Fires
15) Road Trips
16) Long Warm Showers
18) My mom’s Chicken Cordon Bleu
19) Sitting at the dinner table with my whole family most nights
20) My morning coffee
22) Anything Paris Themed
23) Getting Dolled up from time to time
25) Cold winter nights
26) Holidays with my family
27) Taking my kids to school
29) Movie Nights
30) Bike rides with my kids
31) Laughing with siblings
32) Giving gifts
33) My sister and best friend
34) Board games
35) Drinking enough water
36) Going to the lake
37) Live music
38) Late nights
39) Having a routine
40) Good glass of wine
41) New Clothes
42) Girl Talks
43) The beach
44) Driving with the windows down
45) Date nights
46) Spring cleaning
47) Grocery Shopping
48) Having a savings account
49) Laughing until I cry
50) Watching a good comedy
51) “French Kiss”
52) Helping my daughter with her homework
53) Hot air balloons
55) Austin, Tx
56) Discussing future travel plans
57) Six Flags with my kids
58) Problem Solving
62) Helping Others
63) Blasting music in my car and singing by myself
64) My coworkers
65) Crockpot recipes
66) Wearing Boots
67) Positive People
68) Restoring old furniture
69) Bargain shopping
70) Writing my feelings down
71) That feeling of perfecting something
72) Being sore after a great workout
74) Hearing my daughters real laugh
76) Laying in the Sun
77) Going to the movies
78) Paying off debt
79) DIY Projects
80) Eating the best steak
82) Perfect Grammar
83) Challenging “Mind” Games
84) Flip Flops
85) Maxi dresses
86) Annual Cooking baking day
88) Pizza and Beer night in’s
89) A clean house
90) Having every window open on a nice summer day
91) Feeling loved and appreciated everyday
92) Romantic Movies
94) Great conversations
95) Play Dates with my kids
97) Watching the sunrise and set
98) Red Bulls
99) Saturday naps
Looking over this list reminds me that having a full life, doesn’t necessarily mean having a full calendar. I hope you find as much joy creating your list as I did mine! Never forget to count your blessings. Life is good.
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