Heavy and Light

 

I drove to Los Angeles by myself to attend Heavy and Light, To Write Love On Her Arms. It was by far an incredible experience.
I stood in a room full of stories, music and other people that have suffered or struggled like I have.
I overcame a fear, I learned a lot, and I can honestly say how proud I am of myself to have come this far.

Growing up as a teenager, I was scared to be alone, and go places alone. I thought the word “alone” meant “lonely”. Only until the last few years have I learned that there is a major difference between the two. After having two kids, one at the age of 18 and the other at 21 and my husband working swing shift every night, it taught me to grow up. I had to learn to live in our house alone, go to sleep alone, I had to learn how to cook and take care of the kids and the house when he wasn’t home. I was terrified in the beginning, we just bought a brand new house when I was 20 years old, it was about 45 minutes away from family, in a town in the middle of nowhere. I remember the first few weeks I would call the cops every time I heard a noise. It was awful, I had never been alone, I didn’t know what to do.

On January 15th of this month, I made the decision to drive by myself to L.A. and visit the House of Blues for the Heavy and Light show by To Write Love On Her Arms. I got my own hotel, walked around L.A. by myself, went to the show, then the next morning I took a drive to Santa Monica (I’ve never been there before) and walked around with my headphones in along the ocean and had a nice lunch to myself on the pier. The weather was 75 and sunny, couldn’t have picked a better time to go. It was the most empowering experience I’ve ever had. I had moments of anxiety, but I pushed forward and did something I had always wanted to do. A lot of people told me, “Wow I could never do that, I could never travel somewhere alone.” It made me feel proud, and brave. I did it and the best part was, I can’t wait to do it again. Below are some pictures of my trip. 🙂

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Spending Time Alone

Why and How You Can Benefit from Spending Time Alone

spending time alone

“Man is a social creature. However, that does not mean that man is at all times obligated to be surrounded by hordes of friends and acquaintances. That is a little golden rule that applies not only to introverts, but to everyone. There are benefits in spending some time alone with oneself, and there are plenty of ways to reap those benefits and use them to your advantage.

Through spending time alone and away from the buzzing of the crowd, one can find some inner peace, solve and examine their personal issues and troubles, and work on bettering themselves, work on their personal well being and relaxation. In short, time alone may very well lead you to the peace of mind we all so desperately seek. Here is how:

Benefit #1

When you are on the go all day, your mind is not still, either. You attention is always focused on the myriads of little things that need to be taken care of and the dozens of people that seek your assistance, consult, advice or help. And your mind toils and strives toward satisfying all those loose ends. But is there any time or focus on you? Sometimes, don’t you just wish for a break, for a second in which you can take a breath, stand still and enjoy the quiet? Time alone throughout the day, in small segments, can help you keep your balance, and most importantly, your sanity. Balance is what keeps us going, after all, so don’t be afraid to shut the door for a few minutes throughout the day and breathe. In those minutes, thinking is not a necessity.

Benefit #2

In that spirit, it becomes obvious how time alone is essential for your brain to effectively shut itself down, empty out all the thoughts that whirl inside of it day by day, hour by hour, and recharge itself in order to keep working. The brain can overload and develop faults, if one overworks it.

Benefit #3

It goes without saying that turning spending some time alone into a habit will help you tremendously in organizing your time and day. That way, you can examine the issues and projects at hand, see what needs what, and act accordingly. At the same time, you’ll be able to communicate with yourself; listen to your mind and your body, and take care of your needs. You can’t let your life pass by without you having no say in it because you have been too busy. It is your life, and you need to be able to control the aspects of it that drain or trouble you.

Benefit #4

Finally, here is another important reason why you need some alone time: because it will help you learn how to be alone. Nowadays, one of the most common causes of anxiety is the fear of being alone, leading to excessive socializing and somewhat degrading the true value of it.

There is a social misconception that someone who goes out in movies or coffee houses on their own is somehow a “loner”, or a “creep”, or just plain boring. Wrong. There is nothing wrong with doing activities by oneself. When watching a film alone, you have time later to think about it and absorb it into your being. When going to a coffee shop, you prove to yourself that you can do things by yourself. You learn to be independent, and you learn to be autonomous in mind. And you learn that solitude can be one of the little pleasures in life. So, enjoy yourself, go have that cup of coffee, go see that movie. Take a break.”

Spotify

Screenshot_2014-10-09-10-20-27

Good Morning!!

One way I express myself is through music. Now, I’m not artistic, I do not play instruments but just listening and singing to music completely changes my mood. Helps me relax.

If you don’t have Spotify, I recommend it! If you have it, click on browse and search for “The Cure for Loneliness”. This album has gotten me through so much being single and often times alone.

-Stay Alive

-Can’t stop Now

-Try Happiness

-Lost and Found

-Somebody Loves You

These are just a few of my favorites. Check it out. 🙂

Day 20: BPD Challenge (Expressing Yourself)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 20: How do you usually express yourself?

I express myself through music and writing. I love listening to music and singing in my car at the top of my lungs. It is the best feeling to me and completely changes my mood.

I love writing and blogging, this blog/website of mine has completely helped me to express myself.

 

Day 19: BPD Challenge (Lyrics)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 19: What are some lyrics that describe what you’re going through right now?

“All I Want”

All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
‘Cause if I could see your face once more
I could die a happy woman I’m sure

When you said your last goodbye
I died a little bit inside
I lay in tears in bed all night
Alone without you by my side

But if you loved me
Why’d you leave me?
Take my body
Take my body
All I want is,
And all I need is
To find somebody.
I’ll find somebody like you.

Oh oh

So you brought out the best of me,
A part of me I’ve never seen.
You took my soul and wiped it clean.
Our love was made for movie screens.

But if you loved me
Why’d you leave me?
Take my body,
Take my body.
All I want is,
And all I need is
To find somebody.
I’ll find somebody.

Oh

If you loved me
Why’d you leave me?
Take my body,
Take my body.
All I want is,
All I need is
To find somebody.
I’ll find somebody like you.

Oh

Not Alone Song

http://open.spotify.com/track/4Whriu4hhnmj9wzEALHUnT

BEN TAYLOR – NOT ALONE LYRICS

So long to wait,
I’m always holding you however far you go away.
You leave,
I stay no matter where you’re wrong,
You know I’m with you all the way.You may be a lot of things
But you’re not alone,
You’re not alone.
You may be a lot of things
But you’re not alone,
You’re not alone

I can’t forget
I’m always holding you,
I draw you in with every breath.
Same song, same sky,
So far away I sing along to make the time go by.

You may be a lot of things
But you’re not alone,
You’re not alone.
You may be a lot of things
But you’re not alone,
You’re not alone.

You may be a lot of things.
You may be a lot of things
But you’re not alone,
You’re not alone.

If it’s December and the winters blowing cold,
Just you remember I’ll be warm when you come home.

You may be a lot of things
But you’re not alone,
You’re not alone.
You may be a lot of things
But you’re not alone,
You’re not alone.

You may be a lot of things.
You may be a lot of things
But you’re not alone,
You’re not alone.