Stressors

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What are your stressors?

As a single mom, I have a few stressors in my life. My top stressor would be finances, as it is for most people. I have one income and two kids, I work full-time and pay for; full-time day care, food, housing and school activities. This in turn puts a lot of pressure on me at work to ensure I continue to work hard, and move up in the company so I can provide more for me and my wonderful kids. I’m not only a single mom and a full-time employee but I’m also a student. When my kids go to bed, that is usually my time to focus on school and homework. If you couldn’t tell already, I have a full plate and this at times can cause me to stress out if I don’t stay organize and stick with a strict routine. When I get stressed out, I take a break. My mental health is just as important if not more than my education, family and career. I’m aware of these daily stressors so it is easier for me to control them. There are other kinds of stressors that are out of my control like my kids getting sick, or unexpected and unfortunate events or situations that arise. Either way, it’s important to take a break; 10 minutes, two hours, or even a day if needed. Breathe, and do something for yourself to clear your head to help you through the tough, stressful times.
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My BPD Thoughts

Today is a tough one for me, so I’m going to write this out and see if it makes me feel better. I’ve never actually wrote a blog while I was having an episode. These are my current random thoughts this morning:


 

My heart is racing a million miles a minute, I can’t seem to calm myself down.

I just had therapy yesterday and it well, why do I feel this way?

I called in sick yesterday, I wasn’t feeling well, I was stressed, I had a lot of things to take care of, yet nothing was accomplished. I tried. Why can’t anything go right for once?

Finances suck balls; Registration is due, speeding ticket is due, smog check is due, car needs repairs. Of course, everything falls into my lap all at once. #57 BPD

I tried to book a hotel for a future small trip I’m taking soon and of course I booked it for the wrong day, I wasn’t thinking. I call customer service and after trying to resolve the issue; I snapped at the lady. I rarely lose my temper, especially when the issue was my own damn fault. Why did I do that? Now I feel bad and I can’t apologize.

I had to come into work today, although I feel that nobody really needs me around here I’d still feel bad if I left. Why do I feel bad? My health should be my number one concern.

They took a job task away from me yesterday and gave it to someone else while I was out of the office. That fucking hurts, they know I’m always asking for more, they know I need the challenge. Why did they do that to me? They must hate me.

My thoughts are all over the place. Why can’t I calm down and just breathe?

Another admin at work is vindictive; nobody likes her. She’s picking a fight with me via email and there’s nothing I can do about it. I really wish she didn’t work here anymore. Wait. I really wish I didn’t work here anymore. Fuck this place.

I sleep 10 hours a day and it’s not enough, I’m so exhausted. I must be slipping into depression.

I’m hiding in my cubicle today, trying to catch up from yesterday. I can’t focus on anything! If one more person walks over and asks for something, I might lose it. Let me at least have my coffee first and catch up on my damn emails.

My boss last week told me that he knows when I am struggling with my disorder. I asked how he could tell aside from alienating myself from everyone in the workplace and hiding in my cubicle with my headphones in. He said, “I can tell because on days you struggle, you look like shit! You don’t do your hair, you don’t do your make-up, you look so exhausted.” His phone rang it was an “Important call” and he shushed me away. He apologized the next day, but why does it still bother me? I don’t even want to look at him. I always keep it professional and try to look my best. Knowing that I’m struggling today, do I look like shit? Can people tell?

Nobody has yet to ask me if I’m feeling okay? Did they even notice I was gone yesterday? Fuck, even my boss didn’t acknowledge my text about calling in sick yesterday. I guess he doesn’t give a shit. Nobody cares.

Apparently I forgot to punch out for lunch last week. They didn’t make the corrections because I was out of the office so now I’m going to be shorted on my paycheck tomorrow. Let’s just add onto the financial stress! #68 BPD

I just really want to be in bed, watching friends. That always makes me feel better.

I’m trying to find a new place on my own, but with an eviction 3 years ago and bankruptcy, I keep getting rejected. I’m never going to find a place for me and my kids. Stupid past mistakes! I’ve come so far, I really wish someone would give me a chance.

Headphones are in; music isn’t helping. Music almost always helps. I must be having a really bad low.

Kayla, all this shit is just in your head. I’m usually positive, think positive!

Just took my Lamictal, wish I didn’t have to take meds to calm me down. Why am I not strong enough to control these ridiculous thoughts?

Tonight is my night off without babies. A night to myself. OMG I can’t wait to do absolutely nothing! Yup, I must be slipping into depression. I always keep myself busy, but fuck it. I don’t want to right now.

My heart is still beating out of my chest. I need to focus. Breathe.

Why did I turn out this way? Why do I still struggle every once in a while? What triggered this?

Please dear God, don’t let me break down crying in the office. That would be embarrassing.

I need to schedule an appointment for taxes, I usually always get a lot back every year. What if I don’t? I really want to pay off debt but with my luck, I’ll have to owe this year. Sigh.

This feels weird opening up and venting to complete strangers, I hate complaining. I usually always keep to myself.

I’m not going to let this ruin my day, I can’t. I’m okay.

I can make it through one bad day. I’m not dying, it could be so much worse. Cheer up Kayla.

Nobody hates you. I have two beautiful kids that love me and a very loving boyfriend. Gosh he’s amazing.

I need to stop fighting this episode and just embrace it. I got this. It’s okay to be okay. #51 BPD

I have so many things to be grateful for. I need to focus on that, oh and these damn reports that are overdue.

This isn’t my all time low, I’ve felt worse before. I picked myself up then, I can pick myself up now.

I should get back to work, after I get some more coffee of course, and food. Food always makes me feel better.

Breathe. Just Breathe. I am not alone. I can overcome this.

Peace out.

 

 

 

30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge

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Everyday I strive to better myself but one major thing that I struggle with personally is my self-esteem. I’m going to start a 30 Day Self-Esteem challenge to help improve my self-esteem. I thought this would be an awesome exercise. For those of you who are interested in doing this challenge, here is the Master.

Followers your challenge is to do this with me! 

Day one: A facial feature you like on yourself

Day two: A physical feature you like on yourself

Day three: A part of your personality that you like

Day four: A habit you have that you like

Day five: Something about the way you think that you like

Day six: Something about the way you just are that you like

Day seven: When do you feel best about yourself? Why?

Day eight: The last time you smiled when someone complimented you. What was the compliment and why did you smile?

Day nine: Something that you yourself do that makes you smile. Why?

Day ten: Why are you the way you are?

Day eleven:  Do you like the way you are? Why or why not?

Day twelve: If you could change something about your personality, what would it be and why?

Day thirteen: What do you think of your smile?

Day fourteen: What do you think of your laugh?

Day fifteen: Why do you think people are attracted to you, either friend-wise or romantically?

Day sixteen: The last thing you did that made you smile

Day seventeen: Another thing you like about yourself

Day eighteen: The last thing you did that made you laugh

Day nineteen: Is there a particular outfit/article of clothing/accessory you like on yourself? Why or why not?

Day twenty: If you finish this challenge and still feel that your confidence is low, would you be willing to do it again? Why or why not?

Day twenty-one: When do you feel your most attractive? Why?

Day twenty-two: What do you think others like about your personality?

Day twenty-three: What physical feature do others seem to find most attractive about you?

Day twenty-four: What is your definition of “beautiful”?

Day twenty-five: Do you often compliment other people?

Day twenty-six: What is your favorite compliment to give and receive, and why?

Day twenty-seven: Do you often accept compliments? If not, why?

Day twenty-eight: Do you feel good about yourself today? Why or why not?

Day twenty-nine: When you don’t feel good about yourself, what do you do to change that, if anything?

Day thirty: Are you happy with yourself?

For anyone who wants a simple way to help improve their self esteem, try this simple technique by answering the above questions over the next 30 days.

Mental Strength

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We live in a fast-paced world. There are fewer guarantees and more uncertainties these days. Thankfully this also means that there are plenty of opportunities, too. People who learn to welcome them as they come are the ones who are keeping up and making progress in the turbulent times we live in today. Usually these people are mentally strong and manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life. If you are wondering whether you are a mentally strong person, here are 25 signs that show you have nerves of steel:

1. You avoid conflicts

The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back. Holding grudges has never been a solution to problems, nor has anyone achieved anything out of it. Instead of spending your time hating people who hurt you, you choose to let go of the pain and learn from the incident. Even in the harshest stress factors, you choose to stay calm and you try to handle situations smoothly. You think that raising your voice is a sign of weakness.

2. You don’t judge or envy

You’ve hardly ever made assumptions without first being fully aware of the situation. You avoid believing in the negative stuff that you’ve been told and you don’t resent other people’s success. You celebrate other people’s success and don’t grow jealous when somebody is better than you in a particular area. You know that success comes with hard work and you are willing to work hard for your achievements.

3. You are open to receive the help of others

You are not trapped by your ego. You are not afraid of asking for help if you are in need. You are confident to admit that you don’t know everything and you are open to ask for help in order to learn.

4. You apologize when necessary

You are not worrying about losing face when you apologize when you’ve said or done something wrong. You don’t fear admitting your own mistakes and are ready to suffer the consequences from them. That makes you a responsible and honest human being.

5. You are open to other people’s opinions

You handle different opinions easily- you don’t reject them because you believe that the opposite of what you know may be true for someone else. You embrace diversity and are ready to listen to what everybody has to say.

6. You are selfless

You love helping others and you don’t expect anything in return when you do something good for a friend. You know that a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

7. You know you can’t always please everyone

Although you are a kind and genuine being, you are aware that you can’t always make everyone happy. You know that spending time on yourself is as important as containing a good relationship with the people around you but are willing to say “no” when somebody tries to steal from your time for yourself.

8. You know that the world does not owe you anything

You don’t feel entitled to things in life. You are willing to work hard for achieving your goals and you know that your world is what you make it. You don’t take anything for granted and are thankful for what you have.

9. You embrace change

You don’t try to avoid change and understand that it is inevitable. You welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible because you believe in your abilities to adapt.

10. You follow your heart

You believe that you can’t go wrong by following your heart and instincts. You understand that by doing that, you’re helping your soul grow and you are never sorry for following your heart.

11. You forgive yourself

You know that being angry at yourself is not going to take you far. Instead, you are willing to forgive yourself and by doing that you are able to learn. Leaving the past where it belongs instead of dwelling on it is the key of moving on and making progress.

12. You are financially responsible

You are a responsible human being and know that by spending your money foolishly you are harming your future self.

13. You believe that persistence pays off

You have goals and nothing can distract you from working towards them. Although you may have failed several times, you don’t view failure as a reason to give up. On the contrary- you use failure as an opportunity to grow stronger and improve. You find ways around any obstacle. Giving up just isn’t your thing, but looking for alternatives is.

14. Self-improvement is a way of life

You know that life is about learning new things and you live your life by always trying to improve yourself- whether it is for your job, health or any other area of your life. You agree that if a person stops learning, he is dead.

15. You are taking care of your mind and body

You can’t have a healthy mind without a healthy body. You know that by maintaining a balanced life, you are able to grow stronger and be the best version of yourself. Your body is your mind.

16. You are willing to step away of your comfort zone

You believe that the comfort zone isn’t a good place to be stuck because nothing grows there, so you try to challenge yourself on a daily basis and take calculated risks.

17. You don’t waste energy on things you can’t control

You know that sometimes the only thing you can control is your attitude towards the events in your life. Wasting your energy on things you can’t control is something that doesn’t suit you and know that blaming something that’s beyond your control is useless and silly.

18. You use your time wisely

You value your time and believe that by killing time, it actually is killing you. You fight procrastination and choose to spend your time productively.

19. You handle crisis calmly

You remain calm and clear of thought during a crisis. Good result of anything comes out when it’s done with a peaceful and a calm mind.

20. You are not co-dependent

You don’t rely on others to do your work and by doing so, you maintain a healthy relationship both personally and professionally.

21. You know you are responsible for how your life unfolds

You believe your own happiness and success is a byproduct of your own thinking, beliefs, attitudes, character and behavior.

22. You know that gratitude is the best attitude adjustment

The more goodness you see, the more you create, and the more good things you have to smile about. Happiness doesn’t start when “this, that or the other thing” is resolved. Happiness is what happens now when you appreciate what you have.

23. You know that you don’t have to be perfect

You believe that when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So you don’t fear other people’s judgments because you know in your heart who you really are and are not ashamed to show your real face to the world.

24. You know who you are

You are at peace with yourself and you aware of what you want to achieve. You have certain limits that you’ve established for yourself and you’ve embraced them because you know well that that is who you are.

25. You expect less and learn more

Although things don’t always go as you’ve planned, you’ve realized that this is what life is about. You don’t always get what you’ve wanted and that’s a good thing because you learn from this experience and keep going.

The Glorification of Busy

 

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  • Posted on: 3 November 2014
  • By: Molly Walter

My campus minister recently shared a photo on her Facebook page that said, “Stop the glorification of busy.” I told her how much I loved that phrase, as it is something I have struggled with throughout college. She agreed and went on to comment on the many people who work 50+ hours a week and get so burned out on what they do, causing them to hate something that was once their passion. She said she didn’t want that to happen to her, so she had decided to no longer bring work with her on her days off. If it didn’t get done, it was OK, she realized. People would still show up.

There’s a lie that says we have to have it all figured out. I think that, by glorifying the idea of being busy, we’re feeding into that lie. We’re told we have to work at least 40 hours a week, volunteer, and be involved in all sorts of extra-curricular activities and hobbies. By staying busy, we appear to have it all figured out. If we can do it all, people will look up to us, we think. Whether it concerns work, school, family, friends, obligations, or volunteering, we all find ways to fill our time, often down to every second of the day – and if you don’t, it’s assumed you might be seen as lazy or unaccomplished. It can be very stigmatizing to not be busy every moment of the week.

I have always secretly liked being busy for this exact reason. It made me feel important and self-reliant. It made me feel like I could do anything. I told myself that one day down the line or after college, I would have time to relax. I would be able to tell my children I had done it all. I worked full-time in college and paid my own way. I led a TWLOHA UChapter and was deeply involved. I took care of myself.

I also really hated being that busy though. I hated working the amount that I did. I was tired. Many people can relate to this; I think most people feel swamped in their time and feel like they don’t have space to do the things they love. There may even be days when you feel like you don’t even have room to breathe. I know I’ve had many days like that.

When I started college, I had no respect for my own time. I had a timeline in front of me of how my college years were going to go. I learned very quickly it was not going to work that way. My first college professor and mentor told me I did too much. She told me to slow down and make time for myself; I did not listen to her. My second year of college was worse. I had my own apartment and was working even more. Although she moved to a different university, my former professor and I would keep in contact. She continued to tell me to step back. She told me to talk with my advisor when I was stressed, so I began scheduling in mental recesses where I could go into the advisor’s office and let go of my stress. Gradually, I began to realize both of these mentors were right: I needed to slow down.

Now that I am in my fourth year of college, I have taken that advice. Of course, I am still busy. I still have the same amount of work on my plate. But I no longer pride myself on that busyness. I am learning, daily, to ask for help from people. I am learning to say no to things I do not have time to do. I am learning to trim back the hours I work, to make time for myself. Some days that means not going out, staying in, listening to music, and being alone. Some days, though, that means getting ice cream with friends. It means saying I’m not doing homework today, because I’m going to watch a movie with my roommates first. It means finding the balance between getting things done and making time for myself. It’s a hard balance to find, and it is a process, but I’ve learned it is incredibly important.

Know this: Your time is important. So spend it on things you are passionate about. Of course, some of your time will inevitably go toward things that are unpleasant; you will spend some time worrying, working, freaking out, crying, and screaming. But you will also spend your time loving, laughing, and having conversations that may change your entire life.

Make time for yourself. Make time to do things you love and be with those you love. Don’t feel bad if you aren’t working 50 hours a week just to get everything done. Don’t feel bad if things take time. Don’t feel bad for putting things off when you feel that you need to. Find your balance. Rather than glorifying busy, begin by simply valuing your time.

6 Things to Stop Expecting From Others – Article

“You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.” ― Lisa Kleypas, Love in the Afternoon

“Don’t expect people to respect you if you don’t respect yourself enough
Your self-perception is the most significant clue for who you really are. It guides people when they are looking for a way to get to you, to talk to you, to see you. You should understand that you cannot expect them to respect you if you don’t respect yourself enough. They won’t admire you, if you don’t admire yourself. Decide this minute to stop looking in the others for a proof that you are beautiful, strong, capable. Believe it or not, you are extraordinary. Never doubt that!
Stop expecting people to know what you are thinking
Have you ever been disappointed by somebody’s actions or inaction just because you haven’t really explained yourself or you haven’t given any signs of how you prefer to be approached? Well, then it’s time to realize that people don’t read minds. Save yourself the disappointment and stop expecting them to know what you’re thinking. Communication is the key to healthy relationships and inner peace. When getting to know a new partner – skip the games and speak your mind. When you have some issues with friends – be honest and willing to discuss. When feeling it’s time for a promotion – be clear about it and ready to prove you deserve it. Of course, there are things that need to be felt, instead of told, so be mindful of that and approach situations with open mind.

So yeah, being open and sharing your thoughts will spare you unpleasant misunderstandings and complications, it will really make your life more awesome.

Stop expecting from everyone to make you happy

There is always someone out there destined to make you happy but don’t go looking for them. Stop expecting that every single person you encounter in your life is there to bring you joy and felicity. Sometimes you will feel like someone is just screwing things up for you. Judging and getting angry won’t help. Accept the fact that the most natural thing for a human being is the goal of personal happiness. Sometimes the idea of it might be in an acute conflict with your idea of happiness. You should understand that this is perfectly fine and you are perfectly capable of being happy without their contribution. But sometimes their idea of happiness may include you being happy and then you have met someone precious you should probably stick with.

Stop relying on others for your own well-being
Once you get used to depending on someone else for your own well-being, you stop putting enough effort on taking care of yourself. Instead of feeling a constant lack of someone’s presence, try to focus on your own! Don’t justify your laziness about getting your stuff together with the thought that everything will come to order once you meet that person. No one else should have a greater control of your own here-and-now. Throw away the belief that your life will become better if only you met “the right person” because you forget to live while expecting them to just show up. In your own life you are the rightest person that is always there.

Don’t expect people to be fine all the time
It’s a good thing to put ourselves first but this shouldn’t mean neglecting other people’s importance. Be kind and delicate for everyone you meet is fighting their own battles you might not know anything about. Don’t expect people to be fine all the time. No one is problem-free. Teach yourself to empathy and compassion. Be prepared to find some rudeness, indifference or even cruelty around. But don’t be in a hurry to judge. Everyone has their reason and the right to not be all right.

Stop expecting people to fit in your idea of who they are
We all know how exhausting and frustrating it is trying to fit in other people’s expectations of what we are supposed to be like. What we pretty often miss on is the fact that it is the same thing the other way round. That is why we need to stop insisting on others to change just because we have a particular vision of what we want them to be. Growing up spiritually requires generosity but not in the material meaning. By giving people the freedom to be who they are while still sticking around, you give them wings to fly and someone to fly with. Don’t mistaken accepting with putting up with something that will make you miserable. If you find in somebody qualities you can’t live with, it means this person shouldn’t be part of your life. But expecting them to change is just redundant.
Expectations are difficult to deal with. They come naturally but tend to lead to a lot of mess most of the times. So before starting to anticipate again, take a minute to analyze. Have you done your part before expecting others to do theirs? Have you put yourself in those people’s shoes? Are you sure you are having the right people in your life?

It is never too late to change our ways if this means to be content and in peace with ourselves.”

Introverts

 

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“Susan Cain illustrates how today’s world has created an Extrovert culture; the ideal is to be sociable, loud, bold, and it is so because it resonates with how most of our interactions are nowadays. We are bold and loud all day on our social media; the corporate environment favors the “golden boy/girl”, who wins over investments with daring ideas and a charming personality.

But what about the other side of the spectrum? What about introverts? The people who choose a quiet evening at home instead of a large social gathering can obviously be equally capable, strong and successful. So, what does it mean to be an introvert? It’s not the stereotypical notion of the shut-in, that is for sure.

Below are 14 things about being an introvert that can help you understand what it means to be one (or you can experience a moment of recognition if you are, like the writer of this article, an introvert herself):

1. An introverted person can function better when working alone, than when working in a team. It’s not about being a “team player”, it’s about what can help them produce the best possible result. And working in a team, well…it’s is distracting.

2. Being quiet does not mean “having nothing to say”. It means that one simply enjoys being quiet. As an introvert, I find some of my most satisfying moments when I am in a gathering and observe people talk, without saying something myself. Why don’t you speak? Because I am perfectly content introvertabsorbing the stimuli of my surroundings without producing any of my own.

3. Going out in a coffee shop with your book, work, or music, and enjoying that perfect little state between sociability, but without interaction, is very, very satisfying.

4. Introverts choose who they connect with very carefully. And when that connection has been made, it runs deep. Some people can be all depth, instead of breadth. And that is perfectly okay.

5. Rainy days at home are blessings. Period.

6. A trip alone to a foreign country or another city is not scary. It’s an adventure, and not having anyone meddling with your planning is pretty liberating. The lone wolf does survive (if you got my reference, you are awesome).

7. You can never comprehend how some people can spend the entirety of their day together, even fresh lovers in their honeymoon phase. Space is healthy. Silence is necessary.

8. Time alone means time for introspection. While many people avoid looking at their problems, letting them fester and become toxic for them, an introvert can take the time to listen to themselves and perhaps find solutions.

9. Being the observer in a group can actually be very beneficial. It gives one more chances of operating in a behind-the-scenes way.

10. Similarly, the observation of people can lead to better understanding them, which can make an introvert a very likeable person. Everyone wants an understanding confident who lets them speak out for a change, in a world where everyone has an opinion that can, unfortunately, be pushed on to you.

11. Spending less time socializing means coming up with so many more things to occupy your time! There is always a book to read, or a movie to watch, or a language to learn, or some volunteer work you can do, and so on. An introvert can see adventure in the most ordinary settings.

12. That moment when you finally come home after a large party is like the first breath of air in a long time, and a great relief.

13. It can be funny, interesting, and a little bit sad when people get surprised that you have so many interests and hobbies. “Oh my god, I had no idea you did so much!” I mean, it’s not like I sit and stare at my ceiling when I am not with people. But your surprise entertains me.

14. Socializing can be draining, but an introvert can love spending time with an extrovert. Opposites do attract, and one fulfills the other. There are things an introvert cannot do without an extrovert, and vice versa.

To sum up, being an introvert is a great thing. Being an extrovert is also a great thing. The greatness lies within the fact that we hopefully live in a world where people can just be themselves. Being clever and successful is not about learning to separate the more capable (read: sociable) ones from the less capable ones. It’s about fully utilizing every resource, and more often than not, an introvert might just be the ace up society’s sleeve.

Embrace introverts, whether it is the one hiding inside you or someone in your circle.”

 

Introvert3 Susan Cain

BPD Things #1: Understanding

#1 BPD

 

How many of us feel this way? From time to time I will get frustrated with myself because I can’t figure me out. Am I borderline? Am I bipolar? Am I cyclothymic? Or am I just a woman that struggles with PMS? I don’t know. Then again I don’t want to label myself as anything either so I try not to worry or think about it. I like to read and do research on mental illness. I love doing anything that involves learning or self-improvement. I try to have a positive mindset and not focus on the negative things in life. I tell myself one thing, I’m only 27, I’m still learning who I am, what I like and don’t like. I strongly believe that people change the most in their twenties; therefore how can we completely understand ourselves? It’s okay to not have all the answers. We can’t beat ourselves up over it. One day we will understand and it will all make sense.

Day 23: BPD Challenge (How Others See You)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 23: How do you think other people see you?

I think other people see me as a goofy and nice person. I’ve been told by acquaintances that I am funny, smart, witty and a good mother. I think that my close family and friends see me as; caring, needy at times, a good mother, funny, and compassionate. I think my family sees me as someone who is trying really hard to be a better person. They know all my flaws and about all my past mistakes. I’ve heard multiple times from family and my ex-husband, “You are not the same person you were 4 years ago, you have come a long way.”

My favorite quote from my favorite philosopher is my headline. “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

Day 21: BPD Challenge (Diagnosis)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 21: How many people know about your diagnosis?

Not many people know for one main reason. I was diagnosed three years ago on the first therapy session, I’ve always questioned if I have BPD or Bipolar, since then I have been doing research, seeked out another therapist for her opinion and have been doing a lot of reading. Whatever I have, I don’t suffer from it. I know I have mood swings from time to time just like any other girl. I have tried a bunch of different things (like eliminate birth control) to see what helps and doesn’t help me. It’s a learning process.