How are you?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU ASKED SOMEONE HOW THEY WERE DOING? DID YOU GENUINELY MEAN IT? DID YOU TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN?

Many may not realize that in the moments of battling a mental illness (or any illness), these three words can make a huge impact on the day of the minds like ours (yes, I had to throw that in there). One year ago I made a commitment to myself to be sure to ask those around me how they are doing, at least one person – every.single.day. Strangers, friends, family members, and coworkers. However, it’s important to not only ask the question but to mean it genuinely. LISTEN. Watch their body language, their facial expressions, their words, their tone. It says it all.

The reactions I receive when asking this question are somewhat surprising to me. In my personal experience, the responses go one of two ways:

The first and most common reaction go something like this: Good, thanks. – Simple and quick.

The other reaction I also find common is: I did this and this today, I’ve been really busy. – Thinking I asked them what they did today or what they are currently doing, not realizing that I just asked how they are feeling.

Nowadays, a lot of conversations are unfortunately in the form of texting, and social media has taken over to show off to the world how crappy or happy we are, therefore, many won’t ask how others are truly feeling, they think they can see and understand it all through technology. OR, we are wrapped up in our own lives that we don’t take the time to ask others how THEY are feeling (I’ve been there!), OR maybe we feel as though expressing our feelings is a sign of weakness or burdensome to others (It’s really not). Either way, the question, “How are you?” is often used in passing, yet not being taken serious enough, in my opinion.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND ASK SOMEONE HOW THEY ARE DOING.

The reason why I say this is because, as someone who lives with a mental health condition and has faced many difficult times, including the feeling of being completely alone – I really just needed someone to ask me to how I was doing in a deep way that made me feel as though they genuinely cared. This past week I have experienced a lot of emotional and physical pain. I believe some people could tell. I have voiced my feelings to a few, but not one person has genuinely asked me how I was doing…until today. My sister. Gahh – I love her sweet heart. She must have sensed something all the way from Texas because out of the blue I received a message asking me if I’m okay. It immediately put a smile on my face. (Thank you, sis!)

A couple weeks ago about 300 people were laid off from our company due to closed facilities. It was a difficult time for everyone was affected by it. One of the gentlemen that were given an end date with the company sat near me and although we were not close I still wanted to ensure he was okay. I went into his office and asked him how he was doing. His response went something like this, Oh you know – trying to get my tasks done today, I’m swamped.

I responded with, “Okay, let me ask again. HOW ARE YOU? Are you doing okay?”

The look on his face was a look of shock as though he had never heard the question before. He sat back in his chair and said, “I’m stressed out. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have options, but I need to think about which option I will take. It’s sad. Thank you so much for asking.” I sensed appreciation in his tone after our heartfelt conversation.

You see, when someone you know is in a hospital bed bleeding or with other signs of a visible injury or illness, people will run to their bedside in panic or worry asking with sincerity if they are okay. What about our invisible illnesses?

Last year, my mentee was admitted to the psychiatric hospital for self-harm. She was 15 years old. I had spent many days with her, picking her up from school, having her over for sleepovers and movie nights, and enjoyed weekends exploring and going to the movies. She was such a bright young girl, and I loved bonding with her. I received a phone call from her mother one evening stating that she was “contemplating” on taking her daughter to the hospital. I immediately advised that she admit her or I would. She needed help and was apparently suffering. I asked her mom for the information of which hospital she was admitted to, and her mom responded in shock, “Why?”. I said, “because I am going to visit her. I can meet you there if you’d like?”

The point of my short story is that her mother never showed up to visit. From my understanding, she never even called her. Her daughter was in the hospital for 5 days. When I appeared at the hospital to visit her, this young girl was completely shocked and cried as she grabbed onto me. I asked her why she was crying and she told me, she had never had a visitor before (it wasn’t her first attempt). In fact, most of her roommates hadn’t either. We sat in her room, and I listened to her talk for a couple hours. I gave her the best advice I could about coping skills and reassured her that she wasn’t alone. I learned so much that day, especially the importance of empathy.
Did you know about 8.3 million people have had suicidal thoughts in the past year? It is important to reach out and ask others how they are doing. You could save a life with one simple question and take the time to listen, and when you do, remember this:

THEIR FEELINGS ARE THEIR FEELINGS. THEY MATTER. THEY ARE VALID AND ACCURATE TO THEM. DO NOT DISMISS, DISAGREE OR TELL THEM THEY SHOULDN’T FEEL THE WAY THEY DO.

This is so important to understand. This goes for all circumstances, not just hurting people with a mental illness. For everyone.

I’ll end it with this – How are YOU doing? Respond below or email me if you need someone to talk to. Help is always out there.

-Minds Like Ours, Kayla Fae

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Mental Strength

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We live in a fast-paced world. There are fewer guarantees and more uncertainties these days. Thankfully this also means that there are plenty of opportunities, too. People who learn to welcome them as they come are the ones who are keeping up and making progress in the turbulent times we live in today. Usually these people are mentally strong and manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life. If you are wondering whether you are a mentally strong person, here are 25 signs that show you have nerves of steel:

1. You avoid conflicts

The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back. Holding grudges has never been a solution to problems, nor has anyone achieved anything out of it. Instead of spending your time hating people who hurt you, you choose to let go of the pain and learn from the incident. Even in the harshest stress factors, you choose to stay calm and you try to handle situations smoothly. You think that raising your voice is a sign of weakness.

2. You don’t judge or envy

You’ve hardly ever made assumptions without first being fully aware of the situation. You avoid believing in the negative stuff that you’ve been told and you don’t resent other people’s success. You celebrate other people’s success and don’t grow jealous when somebody is better than you in a particular area. You know that success comes with hard work and you are willing to work hard for your achievements.

3. You are open to receive the help of others

You are not trapped by your ego. You are not afraid of asking for help if you are in need. You are confident to admit that you don’t know everything and you are open to ask for help in order to learn.

4. You apologize when necessary

You are not worrying about losing face when you apologize when you’ve said or done something wrong. You don’t fear admitting your own mistakes and are ready to suffer the consequences from them. That makes you a responsible and honest human being.

5. You are open to other people’s opinions

You handle different opinions easily- you don’t reject them because you believe that the opposite of what you know may be true for someone else. You embrace diversity and are ready to listen to what everybody has to say.

6. You are selfless

You love helping others and you don’t expect anything in return when you do something good for a friend. You know that a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

7. You know you can’t always please everyone

Although you are a kind and genuine being, you are aware that you can’t always make everyone happy. You know that spending time on yourself is as important as containing a good relationship with the people around you but are willing to say “no” when somebody tries to steal from your time for yourself.

8. You know that the world does not owe you anything

You don’t feel entitled to things in life. You are willing to work hard for achieving your goals and you know that your world is what you make it. You don’t take anything for granted and are thankful for what you have.

9. You embrace change

You don’t try to avoid change and understand that it is inevitable. You welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible because you believe in your abilities to adapt.

10. You follow your heart

You believe that you can’t go wrong by following your heart and instincts. You understand that by doing that, you’re helping your soul grow and you are never sorry for following your heart.

11. You forgive yourself

You know that being angry at yourself is not going to take you far. Instead, you are willing to forgive yourself and by doing that you are able to learn. Leaving the past where it belongs instead of dwelling on it is the key of moving on and making progress.

12. You are financially responsible

You are a responsible human being and know that by spending your money foolishly you are harming your future self.

13. You believe that persistence pays off

You have goals and nothing can distract you from working towards them. Although you may have failed several times, you don’t view failure as a reason to give up. On the contrary- you use failure as an opportunity to grow stronger and improve. You find ways around any obstacle. Giving up just isn’t your thing, but looking for alternatives is.

14. Self-improvement is a way of life

You know that life is about learning new things and you live your life by always trying to improve yourself- whether it is for your job, health or any other area of your life. You agree that if a person stops learning, he is dead.

15. You are taking care of your mind and body

You can’t have a healthy mind without a healthy body. You know that by maintaining a balanced life, you are able to grow stronger and be the best version of yourself. Your body is your mind.

16. You are willing to step away of your comfort zone

You believe that the comfort zone isn’t a good place to be stuck because nothing grows there, so you try to challenge yourself on a daily basis and take calculated risks.

17. You don’t waste energy on things you can’t control

You know that sometimes the only thing you can control is your attitude towards the events in your life. Wasting your energy on things you can’t control is something that doesn’t suit you and know that blaming something that’s beyond your control is useless and silly.

18. You use your time wisely

You value your time and believe that by killing time, it actually is killing you. You fight procrastination and choose to spend your time productively.

19. You handle crisis calmly

You remain calm and clear of thought during a crisis. Good result of anything comes out when it’s done with a peaceful and a calm mind.

20. You are not co-dependent

You don’t rely on others to do your work and by doing so, you maintain a healthy relationship both personally and professionally.

21. You know you are responsible for how your life unfolds

You believe your own happiness and success is a byproduct of your own thinking, beliefs, attitudes, character and behavior.

22. You know that gratitude is the best attitude adjustment

The more goodness you see, the more you create, and the more good things you have to smile about. Happiness doesn’t start when “this, that or the other thing” is resolved. Happiness is what happens now when you appreciate what you have.

23. You know that you don’t have to be perfect

You believe that when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So you don’t fear other people’s judgments because you know in your heart who you really are and are not ashamed to show your real face to the world.

24. You know who you are

You are at peace with yourself and you aware of what you want to achieve. You have certain limits that you’ve established for yourself and you’ve embraced them because you know well that that is who you are.

25. You expect less and learn more

Although things don’t always go as you’ve planned, you’ve realized that this is what life is about. You don’t always get what you’ve wanted and that’s a good thing because you learn from this experience and keep going.

The Glorification of Busy

 

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  • Posted on: 3 November 2014
  • By: Molly Walter

My campus minister recently shared a photo on her Facebook page that said, “Stop the glorification of busy.” I told her how much I loved that phrase, as it is something I have struggled with throughout college. She agreed and went on to comment on the many people who work 50+ hours a week and get so burned out on what they do, causing them to hate something that was once their passion. She said she didn’t want that to happen to her, so she had decided to no longer bring work with her on her days off. If it didn’t get done, it was OK, she realized. People would still show up.

There’s a lie that says we have to have it all figured out. I think that, by glorifying the idea of being busy, we’re feeding into that lie. We’re told we have to work at least 40 hours a week, volunteer, and be involved in all sorts of extra-curricular activities and hobbies. By staying busy, we appear to have it all figured out. If we can do it all, people will look up to us, we think. Whether it concerns work, school, family, friends, obligations, or volunteering, we all find ways to fill our time, often down to every second of the day – and if you don’t, it’s assumed you might be seen as lazy or unaccomplished. It can be very stigmatizing to not be busy every moment of the week.

I have always secretly liked being busy for this exact reason. It made me feel important and self-reliant. It made me feel like I could do anything. I told myself that one day down the line or after college, I would have time to relax. I would be able to tell my children I had done it all. I worked full-time in college and paid my own way. I led a TWLOHA UChapter and was deeply involved. I took care of myself.

I also really hated being that busy though. I hated working the amount that I did. I was tired. Many people can relate to this; I think most people feel swamped in their time and feel like they don’t have space to do the things they love. There may even be days when you feel like you don’t even have room to breathe. I know I’ve had many days like that.

When I started college, I had no respect for my own time. I had a timeline in front of me of how my college years were going to go. I learned very quickly it was not going to work that way. My first college professor and mentor told me I did too much. She told me to slow down and make time for myself; I did not listen to her. My second year of college was worse. I had my own apartment and was working even more. Although she moved to a different university, my former professor and I would keep in contact. She continued to tell me to step back. She told me to talk with my advisor when I was stressed, so I began scheduling in mental recesses where I could go into the advisor’s office and let go of my stress. Gradually, I began to realize both of these mentors were right: I needed to slow down.

Now that I am in my fourth year of college, I have taken that advice. Of course, I am still busy. I still have the same amount of work on my plate. But I no longer pride myself on that busyness. I am learning, daily, to ask for help from people. I am learning to say no to things I do not have time to do. I am learning to trim back the hours I work, to make time for myself. Some days that means not going out, staying in, listening to music, and being alone. Some days, though, that means getting ice cream with friends. It means saying I’m not doing homework today, because I’m going to watch a movie with my roommates first. It means finding the balance between getting things done and making time for myself. It’s a hard balance to find, and it is a process, but I’ve learned it is incredibly important.

Know this: Your time is important. So spend it on things you are passionate about. Of course, some of your time will inevitably go toward things that are unpleasant; you will spend some time worrying, working, freaking out, crying, and screaming. But you will also spend your time loving, laughing, and having conversations that may change your entire life.

Make time for yourself. Make time to do things you love and be with those you love. Don’t feel bad if you aren’t working 50 hours a week just to get everything done. Don’t feel bad if things take time. Don’t feel bad for putting things off when you feel that you need to. Find your balance. Rather than glorifying busy, begin by simply valuing your time.

6 Things to Stop Expecting From Others – Article

“You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.” ― Lisa Kleypas, Love in the Afternoon

“Don’t expect people to respect you if you don’t respect yourself enough
Your self-perception is the most significant clue for who you really are. It guides people when they are looking for a way to get to you, to talk to you, to see you. You should understand that you cannot expect them to respect you if you don’t respect yourself enough. They won’t admire you, if you don’t admire yourself. Decide this minute to stop looking in the others for a proof that you are beautiful, strong, capable. Believe it or not, you are extraordinary. Never doubt that!
Stop expecting people to know what you are thinking
Have you ever been disappointed by somebody’s actions or inaction just because you haven’t really explained yourself or you haven’t given any signs of how you prefer to be approached? Well, then it’s time to realize that people don’t read minds. Save yourself the disappointment and stop expecting them to know what you’re thinking. Communication is the key to healthy relationships and inner peace. When getting to know a new partner – skip the games and speak your mind. When you have some issues with friends – be honest and willing to discuss. When feeling it’s time for a promotion – be clear about it and ready to prove you deserve it. Of course, there are things that need to be felt, instead of told, so be mindful of that and approach situations with open mind.

So yeah, being open and sharing your thoughts will spare you unpleasant misunderstandings and complications, it will really make your life more awesome.

Stop expecting from everyone to make you happy

There is always someone out there destined to make you happy but don’t go looking for them. Stop expecting that every single person you encounter in your life is there to bring you joy and felicity. Sometimes you will feel like someone is just screwing things up for you. Judging and getting angry won’t help. Accept the fact that the most natural thing for a human being is the goal of personal happiness. Sometimes the idea of it might be in an acute conflict with your idea of happiness. You should understand that this is perfectly fine and you are perfectly capable of being happy without their contribution. But sometimes their idea of happiness may include you being happy and then you have met someone precious you should probably stick with.

Stop relying on others for your own well-being
Once you get used to depending on someone else for your own well-being, you stop putting enough effort on taking care of yourself. Instead of feeling a constant lack of someone’s presence, try to focus on your own! Don’t justify your laziness about getting your stuff together with the thought that everything will come to order once you meet that person. No one else should have a greater control of your own here-and-now. Throw away the belief that your life will become better if only you met “the right person” because you forget to live while expecting them to just show up. In your own life you are the rightest person that is always there.

Don’t expect people to be fine all the time
It’s a good thing to put ourselves first but this shouldn’t mean neglecting other people’s importance. Be kind and delicate for everyone you meet is fighting their own battles you might not know anything about. Don’t expect people to be fine all the time. No one is problem-free. Teach yourself to empathy and compassion. Be prepared to find some rudeness, indifference or even cruelty around. But don’t be in a hurry to judge. Everyone has their reason and the right to not be all right.

Stop expecting people to fit in your idea of who they are
We all know how exhausting and frustrating it is trying to fit in other people’s expectations of what we are supposed to be like. What we pretty often miss on is the fact that it is the same thing the other way round. That is why we need to stop insisting on others to change just because we have a particular vision of what we want them to be. Growing up spiritually requires generosity but not in the material meaning. By giving people the freedom to be who they are while still sticking around, you give them wings to fly and someone to fly with. Don’t mistaken accepting with putting up with something that will make you miserable. If you find in somebody qualities you can’t live with, it means this person shouldn’t be part of your life. But expecting them to change is just redundant.
Expectations are difficult to deal with. They come naturally but tend to lead to a lot of mess most of the times. So before starting to anticipate again, take a minute to analyze. Have you done your part before expecting others to do theirs? Have you put yourself in those people’s shoes? Are you sure you are having the right people in your life?

It is never too late to change our ways if this means to be content and in peace with ourselves.”

Introverts

 

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“Susan Cain illustrates how today’s world has created an Extrovert culture; the ideal is to be sociable, loud, bold, and it is so because it resonates with how most of our interactions are nowadays. We are bold and loud all day on our social media; the corporate environment favors the “golden boy/girl”, who wins over investments with daring ideas and a charming personality.

But what about the other side of the spectrum? What about introverts? The people who choose a quiet evening at home instead of a large social gathering can obviously be equally capable, strong and successful. So, what does it mean to be an introvert? It’s not the stereotypical notion of the shut-in, that is for sure.

Below are 14 things about being an introvert that can help you understand what it means to be one (or you can experience a moment of recognition if you are, like the writer of this article, an introvert herself):

1. An introverted person can function better when working alone, than when working in a team. It’s not about being a “team player”, it’s about what can help them produce the best possible result. And working in a team, well…it’s is distracting.

2. Being quiet does not mean “having nothing to say”. It means that one simply enjoys being quiet. As an introvert, I find some of my most satisfying moments when I am in a gathering and observe people talk, without saying something myself. Why don’t you speak? Because I am perfectly content introvertabsorbing the stimuli of my surroundings without producing any of my own.

3. Going out in a coffee shop with your book, work, or music, and enjoying that perfect little state between sociability, but without interaction, is very, very satisfying.

4. Introverts choose who they connect with very carefully. And when that connection has been made, it runs deep. Some people can be all depth, instead of breadth. And that is perfectly okay.

5. Rainy days at home are blessings. Period.

6. A trip alone to a foreign country or another city is not scary. It’s an adventure, and not having anyone meddling with your planning is pretty liberating. The lone wolf does survive (if you got my reference, you are awesome).

7. You can never comprehend how some people can spend the entirety of their day together, even fresh lovers in their honeymoon phase. Space is healthy. Silence is necessary.

8. Time alone means time for introspection. While many people avoid looking at their problems, letting them fester and become toxic for them, an introvert can take the time to listen to themselves and perhaps find solutions.

9. Being the observer in a group can actually be very beneficial. It gives one more chances of operating in a behind-the-scenes way.

10. Similarly, the observation of people can lead to better understanding them, which can make an introvert a very likeable person. Everyone wants an understanding confident who lets them speak out for a change, in a world where everyone has an opinion that can, unfortunately, be pushed on to you.

11. Spending less time socializing means coming up with so many more things to occupy your time! There is always a book to read, or a movie to watch, or a language to learn, or some volunteer work you can do, and so on. An introvert can see adventure in the most ordinary settings.

12. That moment when you finally come home after a large party is like the first breath of air in a long time, and a great relief.

13. It can be funny, interesting, and a little bit sad when people get surprised that you have so many interests and hobbies. “Oh my god, I had no idea you did so much!” I mean, it’s not like I sit and stare at my ceiling when I am not with people. But your surprise entertains me.

14. Socializing can be draining, but an introvert can love spending time with an extrovert. Opposites do attract, and one fulfills the other. There are things an introvert cannot do without an extrovert, and vice versa.

To sum up, being an introvert is a great thing. Being an extrovert is also a great thing. The greatness lies within the fact that we hopefully live in a world where people can just be themselves. Being clever and successful is not about learning to separate the more capable (read: sociable) ones from the less capable ones. It’s about fully utilizing every resource, and more often than not, an introvert might just be the ace up society’s sleeve.

Embrace introverts, whether it is the one hiding inside you or someone in your circle.”

 

Introvert3 Susan Cain

BPD Things #1: Understanding

#1 BPD

 

How many of us feel this way? From time to time I will get frustrated with myself because I can’t figure me out. Am I borderline? Am I bipolar? Am I cyclothymic? Or am I just a woman that struggles with PMS? I don’t know. Then again I don’t want to label myself as anything either so I try not to worry or think about it. I like to read and do research on mental illness. I love doing anything that involves learning or self-improvement. I try to have a positive mindset and not focus on the negative things in life. I tell myself one thing, I’m only 27, I’m still learning who I am, what I like and don’t like. I strongly believe that people change the most in their twenties; therefore how can we completely understand ourselves? It’s okay to not have all the answers. We can’t beat ourselves up over it. One day we will understand and it will all make sense.

Day 21: BPD Challenge (Diagnosis)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 21: How many people know about your diagnosis?

Not many people know for one main reason. I was diagnosed three years ago on the first therapy session, I’ve always questioned if I have BPD or Bipolar, since then I have been doing research, seeked out another therapist for her opinion and have been doing a lot of reading. Whatever I have, I don’t suffer from it. I know I have mood swings from time to time just like any other girl. I have tried a bunch of different things (like eliminate birth control) to see what helps and doesn’t help me. It’s a learning process.

Thoughts, Success and Happiness

Positive Thoughts For Success And Happiness

 

Many of us go through our life feeling like our success and happiness are out of our control. We often believe that when bad things happen to us, there is nothing we can do to prevent them from occurring. Some of us also believe that we can’t change our destiny and therefore we should just accept what we have since we can’t do anything about it. It is true that there are times when we can’t control what will manifest in front of us. However, if we learn how to use our thoughts wisely, we can reduce or turn many bad experiences into good experiences.

What are thoughts?

Thoughts are attributes of consciousness or energy. Thoughts have the potential to think, which is why we have the ability to think. When we look at thought from the perspective of the external Creation, it is a thing that takes up no space. The main difference between thoughts and manifested things is the hierarchical change in frequency of the consciousness of the observer (you). As manifested things move farther away from the original thought, they become less “real.”

Thought is the energy “substance” that acts like a focusing and filtering device, allowing consciousness to manifest itself into holograms. In other words, it is the energy that is used by Creation to focus everything into existence. Without this thought to focus everything into existence, matter would simply vanish into thin air.

Since thought has the potential to create our reality, if we learn how to use it wisely, it will help us find happiness easier. It is important to know that at our current level of evolution, the power of our thoughts is nowhere as strong as the pure thoughts of Creation; therefore, we can’t rely only on our thoughts to help us achieve success or find happiness. We also need to take appropriate actions to support our goals and desires.

Positive thoughts, success and happiness

We have all heard the expression “you are what you eat,” but have you ever heard the concept of “you are what you think?” New scientific research is beginning to reveal just how powerful and real our thoughts can be. Not only are our positive and negative thoughts cause the release of actual chemicals that rush throughout our bodies, but the way we think can actually help manifest things, for better or worse, in our everyday lives. Thus, being happy is mostly a matter of choice. However, there are times when our choices don’t lead to happy experiences, but luckily these negative situations don’t often happen a lot.

 

Think about it this way for starters. When you are constantly thinking bad thoughts, your body will react in a negative way by overproducing certain anti-stress chemicals, such as cortisol. Too much of these chemicals can negatively affect your energy and actually cause harm to your body. Conversely, thinking positively can dramatically reduce those negative effects, giving you more energy to help you achieve your goals and improve your relationships. Ultimately, these things help give you confidence and purpose in life, which are essential for being happy and successful.

Here are a few tips for keeping a positive outlook and taking control of your happiness:

  1. Practice self-awareness: Our minds tend to take on a life of their own and can sometimes go off track with negative thinking. Rather than immediately indulge this line of thinking, take a step back and observe your mind. Ask yourself – is my state of mind negative or positive? Simply by identifying your state, you can begin to self-correct.
  2. Be grateful: Sure, it is easy to pinpoint the things that irritate us, but what if you turn this on its head and take a few minutes each day to focus on the things you love about your life. The key is to train your mind to be more aware of the good things in your life, so that you don’t take them for granted. As for the negative things, be aware that they are there to teach you lessons, but don’t think about them so much that they end up consuming you.
  3. Play and laugh: Whoever said being playful is just for kids? It doesn’t have to be. In this day and age, we are constantly squeezing meetings, chores and errands into our day, so why not carve out some time to play to release some stress? Studies have showed that play and laughter are huge contributors to health and happiness. So take some time off your busy schedule, so that you can enjoy the magic of nature and life by doing something you love to do. By doing this, your mind will generate more positive thoughts, which are important for success and happiness.

 

Spending Time Alone

Why and How You Can Benefit from Spending Time Alone

spending time alone

“Man is a social creature. However, that does not mean that man is at all times obligated to be surrounded by hordes of friends and acquaintances. That is a little golden rule that applies not only to introverts, but to everyone. There are benefits in spending some time alone with oneself, and there are plenty of ways to reap those benefits and use them to your advantage.

Through spending time alone and away from the buzzing of the crowd, one can find some inner peace, solve and examine their personal issues and troubles, and work on bettering themselves, work on their personal well being and relaxation. In short, time alone may very well lead you to the peace of mind we all so desperately seek. Here is how:

Benefit #1

When you are on the go all day, your mind is not still, either. You attention is always focused on the myriads of little things that need to be taken care of and the dozens of people that seek your assistance, consult, advice or help. And your mind toils and strives toward satisfying all those loose ends. But is there any time or focus on you? Sometimes, don’t you just wish for a break, for a second in which you can take a breath, stand still and enjoy the quiet? Time alone throughout the day, in small segments, can help you keep your balance, and most importantly, your sanity. Balance is what keeps us going, after all, so don’t be afraid to shut the door for a few minutes throughout the day and breathe. In those minutes, thinking is not a necessity.

Benefit #2

In that spirit, it becomes obvious how time alone is essential for your brain to effectively shut itself down, empty out all the thoughts that whirl inside of it day by day, hour by hour, and recharge itself in order to keep working. The brain can overload and develop faults, if one overworks it.

Benefit #3

It goes without saying that turning spending some time alone into a habit will help you tremendously in organizing your time and day. That way, you can examine the issues and projects at hand, see what needs what, and act accordingly. At the same time, you’ll be able to communicate with yourself; listen to your mind and your body, and take care of your needs. You can’t let your life pass by without you having no say in it because you have been too busy. It is your life, and you need to be able to control the aspects of it that drain or trouble you.

Benefit #4

Finally, here is another important reason why you need some alone time: because it will help you learn how to be alone. Nowadays, one of the most common causes of anxiety is the fear of being alone, leading to excessive socializing and somewhat degrading the true value of it.

There is a social misconception that someone who goes out in movies or coffee houses on their own is somehow a “loner”, or a “creep”, or just plain boring. Wrong. There is nothing wrong with doing activities by oneself. When watching a film alone, you have time later to think about it and absorb it into your being. When going to a coffee shop, you prove to yourself that you can do things by yourself. You learn to be independent, and you learn to be autonomous in mind. And you learn that solitude can be one of the little pleasures in life. So, enjoy yourself, go have that cup of coffee, go see that movie. Take a break.”

Lyrics

thoughts

 

Robot Koch – Nitesky Lyrics

No one knows what it’s like
You and me, you and I
Underneath the night sky
You and me, you and I

I get lost all the time
In my thoughts, in my mind
You come through like a light
In the dark, give me sight

If you let my soul out
You let my soul out
You let my soul out
It will come right back to you

If you let my soul out
You let my soul out
You let my soul out
It will come right back to you

I will come right back to you
Come right back
Come right back to you

No one sees what it’s like
You and me, you and I
Never go, never hide
You and me, you and I

If you let my soul out
You let my soul out
You let my soul out
It will come right back to you

If you let my soul out
You let my soul out
You let my soul out
It will come right back to you

If you let my soul out
You let my soul out
You let my soul out
It will come right back to you

If you…