Negative Behaviors You Should Not Allow in Your Life

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Have you ever felt like you deserve something better? Then why settle for something less than you desire? You can decide from now that you won’t tolerate bad behavior in your life. People who try to bring you down suck the life from you and leave you feeling miserable. Why would you accept that when you can eliminate similar types of behavior? If you want to change how people are treating you and detox your life from the negativity, here are 6 behaviors you should not allow in your life.

  1. Negativity.

We live in a world where the problems of people can actually bring them closer rather than their successes. Most people are not only comfortable to share their problem but this has also become a way to make friends. Whenever you hear someone trying to start a conversation with you using negativity as a catalyst, remind yourself that you don’t need more drama in your life. Choose your health over that, choose to stay in your “positivity bubble” rather than feeding your soul with unresourceful energy.

  1. Underestimating your abilities and strength

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t achieve something you want. Stay true to yourself and to your dreams. Don’t quit just because someone thinks differently than you. The important thing is you to believe in your potential. You are strong enough to pursue your most desirable ambitions.

  1. Lies.

Paying attention to what people say and what they do in reality will definitely help you see who the honest people in your life are. If you get caught in a person’s  trap of lies once, that is a sign that must remind you to be more careful next time you communicate with them. And remember- actions speak louder than words.

  1. Bullying.

Bullying is not a problem just among kids and teenagers. It is a very common issue for adults, too. Many people just don’t recognize it because it is usually disguised as verbal aggression or other types of intolerant behavior. Bullying is not something that should just be accepted. Nobody has the right to make you feel bad for who you truly are. Unfortunately, there will always be people who try to bring others down by saying mean words. This kind of people will try their best to bring your ego to the ground but it is your responsibility not to let that happen. At first, it may seem frightening to fight back their toxic behavior but you will be glad you did. So, be aware of people who are trying to make you feel inferior. But also take note that bullying can even come from the most unexpected people, for example, your friends or family. Be alert of how others are treating you and when necessary, confront them.

  1. Others taking control over your life

You are the architect of your own world. Why would you let anyone else decide how to manage your life? Of course, it is human to feel out of control and ask someone to help you find your way back on the track but don’t let them take charge of your life..

  1. Physical violence and abuse

If you are a physical abuse survivor or have been the block between an abuser and someone close to you, if you tried to forgive and to move on with your life, you are a hero! Most people know that physical violence is a serious issue that should never be ignored and you must never tolerate such behavior but it is still surprising how many families and relationships are going through this right now. So, if you know someone who is struggling with this or has had such an experience before, give him a helping hand and encourage them to let go of their past, anger so that they can move on with their life the healthy way.

You are a sum of your life choices, so choose wisely what kind of behaviors towards yourself you tolerate. Remember that you are in charge of your life and that you are stronger than you think. Live well and don’t settle for anything less than you desire.

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17 Acts of Kindness

Kindness
Anyone that really knows me know that I am a people-pleaser, a giver. I like to put a smile on people’s faces. I like doing random acts of kindness for my loved ones and strangers.  Making people around you happy could be the shortest way to your own happiness! Here are some good reasons why:
-What goes around comes around. This might not be the driving force behind your acts of kindness, but contributing for someone else’s happiness can reflect back at you, too.
-You won’t regret it. Do you remember a time when you’ve felt sorry that you’ve done a good deed? Me neither.
-You’ll feel happier as someone’s face flows with happiness!

So how do we do that? How can we easily brighten someone’s day?

Here are 17 quick and inexpensive solutions for this:

1. Encourage.
Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive when you’re going through tough times. When someone is feeling down, you could always give them a ray of  your own sunshine and remind them of the positive sides of their problem. This will certainly help your friend see the light at the end of the tunnel!
2. Hug. In the right situation it could change someone’s day! Hugging reduces stress and it can brighten your thoughts and mood in a second. Pretty cool for something so simple.
3. Give away a piece of your talent. A good drawing or maybe a necklace or bracelet? A present with a touch of individuality won’t go unappreciated for sure.
4. Hold the door open for someone. Donate a few seconds of your time for a wide smile on someone’s face- now that’s a deal!
5. Bring a cup of tea/coffee. Next  time you go for a cup of coffee, buy one more for someone from your office/class. It’s an easy way to show that you care.
6. Bring positive energy into the conversation. Positive energy is contagious! Throw in something a positive thought during lunch for example and soon most of your lunch mates will do the same. Brighten up the atmosphere!
7. Smile. Even if it’s to a stranger on the street- it will either make them smile back or they’ll just feel awkward. At least it’s worth trying if it’s going to brighten up someone’s day.
8. Just listen. People feel appreciated when they are listened to and not rudely interrupted.
9. While driving, let someone into your lane. This could be someone’s moment of relief during a stressful day.
10. An honest compliment. It works best if it’s for something that is close to the other person’s heart. You wouls feel better if someone acknowledges the effort you have made on something, wouldn’t you?
11. Share some of your homemade sweets. Who doesn’t like cookies? Or ice cream or jerky?
12. Share something you found on the internet. It could be your favorite funny video or something intriguing and helpful.
13. Bring your friends’ favorite takeout food. Another version of the tea/coffee favor is buying your mate’s favorite food- chocolate, sandwich, pizza, etc. If you’re a good cook, why not prepare a favorite meal?
14. Pick some flowers for your buddy. That’s a pretty easy and joyful way to put a smile on someone’s face.
15. Do a chore or run an errand for someone. If you’re having a day off, why not help someone with something small? It’s a good sacrifice and a positive outcome is sure to follow.
16. Tell a joke or a funny story. You can turn your mischiefs into a funny story that can make someone laugh.
17. Share a good advice with your mate. When there’s a problem you can easily participate in the solution by offering a helpful advice or your own point of view. You can consult with friends that have been in a similar situation. This could really mean a lot for the friend you’re trying to help! Show them that they’re not alone in this.

Day 23: BPD Challenge (How Others See You)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 23: How do you think other people see you?

I think other people see me as a goofy and nice person. I’ve been told by acquaintances that I am funny, smart, witty and a good mother. I think that my close family and friends see me as; caring, needy at times, a good mother, funny, and compassionate. I think my family sees me as someone who is trying really hard to be a better person. They know all my flaws and about all my past mistakes. I’ve heard multiple times from family and my ex-husband, “You are not the same person you were 4 years ago, you have come a long way.”

My favorite quote from my favorite philosopher is my headline. “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

Day 22: BPD Challenge (Childhood)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 22: What’s a random story from your childhood?

Growing up, I had a group of friends in the neighborhood that would run around knocking on each others doors asking, “Can you come out and play?” A bunch of the popular girls, we all lived just houses apart. “Playing” consisted of building forts, treehouses, sleepovers, bake sales, playing basketball, pulling pranks on the neighbors, playing video games and bike rides. I was a bit of a tomboy compared to these girly girls. We always had a good time together outside of school.

When I was at school, these same girls would completely ignore me because I was the nerd, the dork, the tomboy. I didn’t shop at the mall, I didn’t have any sense of style or fashion. They made fun of me endlessly, and then would knock on my door immediately after school asking if I could come out and play. This continued for most my childhood.

Although most of my memories weren’t all that great, there are still some things that I miss as a kid. I miss the endless nights of video games, holding the controller for hours on end determined to beat that last level of pac-man, and I miss roaming around the neighborhood frolicking until after dark dreading that whistle from your parents as your queue to come inside, I miss actually getting up super early before school to challenge my brother in Gran Turismo, Driver, and my favorite, Vigilante 8. I simply miss the good times of my childhood.

Day 21: BPD Challenge (Diagnosis)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 21: How many people know about your diagnosis?

Not many people know for one main reason. I was diagnosed three years ago on the first therapy session, I’ve always questioned if I have BPD or Bipolar, since then I have been doing research, seeked out another therapist for her opinion and have been doing a lot of reading. Whatever I have, I don’t suffer from it. I know I have mood swings from time to time just like any other girl. I have tried a bunch of different things (like eliminate birth control) to see what helps and doesn’t help me. It’s a learning process.

Spotify

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Good Morning!!

One way I express myself is through music. Now, I’m not artistic, I do not play instruments but just listening and singing to music completely changes my mood. Helps me relax.

If you don’t have Spotify, I recommend it! If you have it, click on browse and search for “The Cure for Loneliness”. This album has gotten me through so much being single and often times alone.

-Stay Alive

-Can’t stop Now

-Try Happiness

-Lost and Found

-Somebody Loves You

These are just a few of my favorites. Check it out. 🙂

Day 20: BPD Challenge (Expressing Yourself)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 20: How do you usually express yourself?

I express myself through music and writing. I love listening to music and singing in my car at the top of my lungs. It is the best feeling to me and completely changes my mood.

I love writing and blogging, this blog/website of mine has completely helped me to express myself.

 

Day 19: BPD Challenge (Lyrics)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 19: What are some lyrics that describe what you’re going through right now?

“All I Want”

All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
‘Cause if I could see your face once more
I could die a happy woman I’m sure

When you said your last goodbye
I died a little bit inside
I lay in tears in bed all night
Alone without you by my side

But if you loved me
Why’d you leave me?
Take my body
Take my body
All I want is,
And all I need is
To find somebody.
I’ll find somebody like you.

Oh oh

So you brought out the best of me,
A part of me I’ve never seen.
You took my soul and wiped it clean.
Our love was made for movie screens.

But if you loved me
Why’d you leave me?
Take my body,
Take my body.
All I want is,
And all I need is
To find somebody.
I’ll find somebody.

Oh

If you loved me
Why’d you leave me?
Take my body,
Take my body.
All I want is,
All I need is
To find somebody.
I’ll find somebody like you.

Oh

Day 18: BPD Challenge (Opinions of others)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 18: Do you worry what people think of you?

I usually do worry about how others perceive me. Not as much today than I did four years ago but it’s still there. It doesn’t change over night. I worry that if people actually knew about my disorder or how I am deep down, they would judge me or think I am crazy. I do not talk about my website, blog or feelings to people other than my family because I’m not ready yet. I worry what they might think of me.

A friend of mine recently told me, “Your FB is so fancy, you seem so fancy, so classy”. I laughed so hard when he said that, I thought to myself, I am far from fancy and classy. I’m just a typical laid back girl with mild mood swings. But he was right, I scanned through my FB and sure enough, I made everything look fancy; photos, filters, posts. I guess I want others to perceive me as doing well, or sane and normal. Then again, most people do that on social media. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Once we started hanging out, he said. “Wow you are really cool, laid back and not ‘fancy’ like I thought you were. I like this person in front of me.” Ever since then, I try to not care so much of how others think on social media. I am me, and that is okay. It ended up being our thing, our inside joke, if something was “Too fancy” we avoided it and laughed.

Four years ago I was terrified to be alone. I was so scared of what others may think of me that I let it control me. Just yesterday, I was bored and lonely. Didn’t have anyone to hang out with, then realized there was a movie I really wanted to see (This is where I leave you). For a minute I thought, “I wish I had someone to go with.” Then without hesitating, grabbed my purse and went to the movies all by myself. Four years ago I would have never done that, I cared that others might think, “look at that girl all by herself like a loser.” Not today, I just went for it. It was so liberating for me, I didn’t care what ANYONE thought. I went on a date with myself and it felt great. That’s all that matters.