Day 9: BPD Challenge (Mood Swings)

I am doing this 31 days of BPD challenge because of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is probably one of the last talked about (honestly) and explained from personal experience than any other mental illness.  All these prompts have to do with characteristics of BPD, whether to do with specific symptoms and criteria of the illness or vague questions about items that are related to the illness, ex questions about specific relationships.

  • Day 9: Do you get mood swings?

I get mood swings just like any other girl, especially due to PMS. However, sometimes my mood swings can be a lot worst than others especially if I do not stay consistent with my medication. I usually have an awful episode once every couple months and it is always during PMS. During these episodes, I become very irritable, sad, I think everyone is out to get me and talk crap about me. I have this overwhelming fear that everyone hates me. I will cry uncontrollably and push everyone away from me.

My most recent episode was two weeks ago. I couldn’t control my emotions but I did control my actions. I embraced the episode, realized I was very emotional. I took a step back and decided that I was going to cancel all my plans for the weekend (BIG plans that I was so excited about!) and I was going to stay home alone, not have any alcohol (alcohol can be a trigger for me) and do something that makes me happy, and I wasn’t going to text or call ANYONE. I read my book all weekend, blogged, watched my favorite TV show, went for a run. I was still completely emotional and cried through the whole weekend but the most prideful moment of that weekend for me was, I didn’t hurt anyone. I handled the weekend perfectly. I was AWARE and took CONTROL of my actions. I just let my emotions run its course knowing It wouldn’t last more than a couple days and when I was ready to snap out of it, I would. I slept and cried all weekend but that Monday morning, I woke up refreshed and feeling so much better. NOW I know how to handle these situations and will try it again next time. Success!!

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